We know, we know - it's not you, it's them, but if you want to get out of this relationship with all your fingers, toes and vintage Adidas t-shirts, you're going to have to get smart about how you play the break up. The experts may say that public displays of dumping are a bad idea, but we think that the London bar scene has just the right amount of anonymity and exposure - as well as booze and food - to put the kibosh on any tears, tantrums and personal attacks on your upbringing. So, whether you're looking to pour your heart out at some intimate cafe, or do the deed in a packed out club, these our top tips for break up bars in London.
Last edited by Izzah Kazi
Last updated on 28th August 2024
Breaking up with someone just feet from a canal may sound like the perfect recipe for a splash landing, but studies have shown that contact with nature relaxes us. That's why a terrace spot at Angel's Narrowboat, with its surrounding greenery and views over the water could be the perfect spot for your break up.
Probably one of the most obvious places to break up with someone in London, Ballie Ballerson offers the double whammy soothing pink hues - known to be a natural mood stabiliser - and giant ball pits for you to physically hide yourself in if they don't take it well.
Many a love has blossomed on the Infernos dancefloor, but it's also a great a place to do away with its shrivelled remains. For one thing, it's big enough for you to put plenty of space between yourself and your ex, and furthermore, it's packed full of like-minded singletons so you can get to work finding their replacement.
You can't beat the anonymity of a hotel bar, and this 1920's-inspired offering from Grosvenor Square's Marriott Hotel has that perfect balance of moody lighting, excellent cocktails and regular jazz nights where the music will mask your conversation so you can stay safely out of the earshot of any eavesdroppers.
The Cocktail Club Canary Wharf at 9 Cabot Square is decked out with funky decor and a spacious outdoor area. They're serving up quirky cocktails like the gin-based Southside Royal topped with a gold butterfly and the classic Espresso Martini garnished with an Oreo twist, perfect for a post-breakup pick-me-up.
Usually we'd recommend avoiding rooftop bars for a breakup for the obvious reasons, however this North London pub has one of the lower raised terraces. Should the inevitable occur, it's really not that far to fall, and this popular boozer comes complete with plenty of eye witnesses.
It's themed, it's loud and it's full of booze - also known as 'optimum public break up conditions'. Grab some drinks and get down to business at the The Cocktail Club's venues, where the noise is pitched loud enough that any shouting gets carried away by happy hordes of post-work punters.
A solid option if you're going to need to make a quick getaway, this Piccadilly party bar offers big crowds, low lighting and thumping music, along with excellent transport links close by so whether you're trying to get as far away as possible, or just trying to avoid sharing a tube home, you're covered on all accounts.
It's one of Battersea's most popular spots for first dates, and it could be just the ticket for a final one. Packed full of games, entertainment, delicious burgers and craft beer, it's also dog-friendly, so you can even say goodbye to their pooch (the real love of your life) for one last time.
